Nick

[ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 ]

There isn’t a happily ever after for my mental health. We measure recovery in what ways we can. Shortening the length of severe episodes, or the depth. Having more good days than we used to. Still being alive.

Self Care

It is popular to think of self care as a candlelit bubble bath and a good book, which is cool. If that helps you cope, go for it. Self care in my world is often disguised as things I do not want to do, but are necessary for my ability to function.

• Learning what actually works for me.
• Setting appropriate boundaries to support my mental health.
• Setting aside the time necessary for self care tasks.
• Prioritizing activities that make me healthier, in whatever way I have to.
• Recognizing and accepting my limits.
• Grieving the losses of my past and future.
• Resting when I need rest, whether other people understand that or not.
• Admitting what hurts, and a million other things that aren’t pretty or popular.

[ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 ]

Unraveling

The messages in my head pull themselves into reality. Thoughts of shame and failure grind away my energy and resources until my life loses stability. It becomes harder and harder to function. Days run into one another, becoming weeks and months of misery.

Every moment is exhausting. All of my spare time is spent sleeping, to ensure I can get through each day. I want to sleep until I feel better, but am never rested. I spend my limited energy carefully.

Watching my wife work harder in my absence is painful. I feel guilty. My brain reminds me that she and my kids would be better off with a healthy man.

This is the part where I am supposed to tell you how my products will make your life easier, but I can’t. I intend to ask a great deal of you, myself, and anyone working on this project with us.

I can’t promise to solve any of your problems. In fact, if I hit my mark, I hope to leave you feeling disenchanted with the world we live in. I expect to create problems.

I think that art and conversation right now must lead to the inevitable conclusion that something is terribly fucking wrong. I think the antidote is to stand fully in the truth, share the real stories that connect us, and stop pretending that it is a kindness to accept anything less.

The path to stronger people and communities is through friction. Taking the harder path, valuing experiences, and valuing ourselves enough to accept no less. Iron sharpens iron.

That is what Scream Phoenix is for. I want to share art and stories from the most raw, honest, broken, and powerful pieces of my soul. I want to share conversations with the people who stoke my passion and help me reach for more. I want to take all of this and use it to improve the world.

From the ashes of each iteration will rise something stronger and harder, better suited to change the world. We submit to this process, and reach out to grasp every ounce of our potential. We scream Phoenix!

– Nick